Local Little League Team Honored By Barack Obama

President Barack Obama honored the Springfield Little League 8 and Under champion Yankees on Monday at a White House event. Obama congratulated the team on its 12-3 record. He said the team's success is due to the coach only playing its best players and not the cross-eyed unathletic nerd with the nice mother.

"We didn't care about playing all of the players' said Coach Murphy. "I think the government should learn from our team and only use the politicians who are good."

The Yankees return home to Springfield today, as they embark on their lives. Each player on the team will receive a small trophy, as well as a ribbon for great work.

White House Crashers Crash New York Knicks Game

Michaele and Tareq Salahi, also known as the White House Party crashers, crashed the New York Knicks game on Sunday but nobody really noticed. According to reports, the couple took a secret entrance past security and walked right into the arena. They went straight to midcourt, sat close to the action, but nobody cared. Since they were pretty much the only people at the game, it didn't really matter where they sat.

The Salahis canceled an in-game interview on the local Knicks broadcast when they realized nobody would be watching the game to see it. Mr. Salahi came dressed up for the game in a tux and bow tie, while Mrs. Salahi came in a red dress. The Knicks confirmed that the Salahi's did not purchase tickets through them, although it is not known if they bought tickets through a third-party site like StubHub, Ebay, or Knick fans outside Madison Square Garden desperate to get rid of their tickets so they wouldn't need to see another Knicks loss.