San Diego to Only Give it About 60% Tomorrow vs. the Raiders

The San Diego Chargers have admitted that they plan to only give it about 60-70% effort tomorrow against the Raiders, as they will save up some energy for Week 9. The Chargers plan on taking out most of their starters at halftime when they have a commanding lead. The Chargers face a very good Giants team in Week 9 and hope to be rested for the big game.

"Contrary to what Pop Warner coaches tell their teams, we don't need to give it our all on every play" said Chargers Head Coach, Norv Turner. "We don't want to embarrass our opponents so I always tell our players to give it our all in the first half, then take it easy once we have a commanding lead."

Since the Chargers plan to not use 30-40% of their strength tomorrow against the Raiders, they are planning to use that unused effort to give it a full 130-140% next week against the Giants. Since the Giants will be using all 100% of their effort against the Eagles tomorrow, they will only have 100% left over for the game against the Chargers. With the additional effort compared to the Giants, the Chargers feel as though they have an edge over the NFC powerhouse.

Fans Support Having One Season-Long College Football Playoff

According to a new poll released by IHateTheBCS.com, fans support eliminating the college regular season and bowl system completely, just having one extended playoff where every team can participate. The 128 team single-elimination playoff would start the first week in September and go on for seven weeks, with teams getting a week off after every other round so they can party and hook up with freshmen girls like normally college students. It would also allow a team that nobody has ever heard from a conference that nobody has ever heard of to have a chance to win the title. Anything can happen in one game...or seven.

Supporters of the new system argue that this is the only way to incorporate every team in the FBS and to name a true college football champion. Furthermore, the playoffs would end early enough to give the players time to study for their finals in December, rather than focusing on meaningless bowl games like the New Mexico Bowl, presented by the state of Arizona. Players of the teams who choke in the first round can spend the rest of their semester focusing on their school work and thinking of excuses to miss classes on Fridays instead of having to travel 2,000 miles to lose on an non-televised game by twenty points.

However, some college players are completely against such a system. A player who did not want to be named (We'll just call him #24 on Michigan) said that it gives an unfair equal opportunity to schools such as San Jose State and Wyoming. "Those are some WAC schools" he said. "Schools like Michigan deserve to have a better shot of winning the national title instead of those schools. It's unfair that they only have to win seven games to be named champion."

Larry Johnson's Twitter Account Gets Book Deal

Larry Johnson's Twitter account has signed a book deal with HarperCollins for an uncensored tell-all autobiography to be released in January when the Kansas City Chiefs will be trying to figure out who to take with the #1 pick in the NFL Draft. The book is expected to be a bombshell, with tweets about how bad of a coach Todd Haley is, how LJ's father has a better resume than Todd Haley, and gay slurs somehow involving Todd Haley and how bad of a coach he is. Neither the twitter account or HarperCollins have tweeted about how much Larry Johnson will be paid, but rumors from anonymous tweets say that Johnson is expected to get a Matt Cassel bobblehead, a Jamaal Charles autograph football, and a one-way American Airlines ticket to a place far away from Kansas City.

"Larry Johnson's Twitter account is one of most controversial sports influences of the past few days" tweeted HarperCollins. "For the account to write stories in this book never tweeted about, this was too good of an opportunity to pass up and be apart of. We hope it sells a ton of books so we can make lots of money."

The Twitter account will appear on the Oprah Winfrey show just days before the release of the book to promote the autobiography. At the show, Oprah will surprise her audience by giving them all free Twitter accounts. The book is currently listed at #1 on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and TwitterAccountsThatHaveTurnedIntoBooks.com.

Phillies to take it Four Games at a Time in the World Series

Charlie Manuel and the Philadelphia Phillies will be ignoring the old
philosophy of taking it one game at a time for the World Series. The World Series begins tonight in New York and the Phillies will be focusing on games 1, 2, 4 and 6 because those are the ones they believe they can win. They will rest their starters in the other games.

“Winning one game doesn’t do us any good in the World Series” said Manuel. “You need to win four games to get a ring, not one. We are going to do everything we can to win the games that we have the best chances of winning."

Sticking to his word, Manuel has submitted both his starting lineups and injury reports for those four games. He is expected to give his pregame speech for all of the four games before Game 1, rather than waiting to do them before each individual game. Players will take four times the batting practice than they are used to today, but will not take batting practice before games 2, 4, and 6.

Last Undefeated Fantasy Football Team Goes Down, 1972 Miami Dolphins Relieved

Fantasy football team "Stafford for MVP" has finally entered the loss column, as the team couldn't overcome bye weeks from some of their key players and five touchdown passes from Carson Palmer. "Stafford for MVP" started the season 6-0 but lost in an upset to division rival "He Hate Me" to fall to 6-1.

"We stayed in the fight, guys didn't blink when Stafford for MVP made a late push Sunday night and to our credit, we were able to win the game" said "He Hate Me" head coach Mike Jaeger. "When your quarterback throws five touchdown passes, your wide receiver goes for 110 yards and a touchdown in London, and your defense only allows 10 points, you normally win the game if you hold your opponent to a respectable amount of points."

"Stafford for MVP" scored enough points to win a typical week, however gave up way too many points to Carson Palmer, Wes Welker, and the entire Cincinnati Bengals defense. They will have plenty of film to review this week so they can see which positions they can improve on. Plenty of players are on the trading block and on the waiver wire in the league, as every player on "Stafford for MVP" should feel stressed out about possibly being dropped, except those that are considered undroppable by Yahoo.

After the match, head coach Kyle Lumpquist realizing the negative feeling the players would have this tough loss, walked around the locker room talking to every player. Players such as Drew Brees, Dwayne Bowe and Kellen Winslow looked frustrated, but know that fantasy football luckily isn't like college football so there's still plenty of football left to be played.

Fans have already come down hard on Head Coach, Kyle Lumpquist for some of his moves this week. "How can you possibly start the Oakland Raiders defense?" said one fan on an internet message board, while others questioned starting Kellen Winslow against the New England Patriots. Some fans second-guessed Kyle's decision to start LaDainian Tomlinson over Beanie Wells, as Wells did outscore Tomlinson on Sunday and would have made the difference in the outcome of the week.

"Stafford for MVP" is still 6-1 in the season and holds their own destiny for one of six playoff spots. They have a very important matchup next week against KillMeIfCarrComesIn, a team that scores lots of points but has had a hard time holding onto leads when everything is tallied up on Monday nights.

Derek Jeter- "Give Me the Damn Ball"

Derek Jeter has informed Alex Rodriguez that the ball is not going to him enough and if the Yankees are going to win the World Series like they did in 1939, 1996, 1998, 1999, and 2000, he needs to be getting the ball more. Jeter claims that players are hitting the ball right to him, but A-Rod is cutting the ball off at third base and throwing the runner out at first. Jeter wants to win a gold glove this season and A-Rod is taking away from his opportunities to show off to the voters. Furthermore, A-Rod's heroics at the plate is taking away from Jeter's reputation as being the leader of the Yankees.

Jeter posted on his official Twitter page that teams win championships, not individuals. The ball needs to be spread around evenly he goes on to say. Jeter states that he's not being selfish, he just wants to make all of the plays in the field so he can get all the credit when the team wins the World Series.

Shortly after demanding the ball more, Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens friended Jeter on Facebook.

Fantasy Football Advice From a Normal Guy, Week 7

Start:

If you only have one quarterback on your roster, we recommend starting him.

Everyone on New England and Tampa Bay---The game will be played in Europe so due to the exchange rate, a fantasy point earned in this game will be valued more than a fantasy point earned in a game played on American soil

Sit:

Manny Ramirez---The Dodgers have a bye week until early April. Sit Ramirez for the immediate future

Jim Sorgi---The Colts plan on starting Peyton Manning over Sorgi so if you have Sorgi on your fantasy team, sit him.

Pray:

Brett Favre---Pray that Favre doesn't retire after the first quarter

Your team---Pray that your team gets more points than your opponent. If your team gets more points, it doesn't matter who you start.

Alex Rodriguez Chokes Again: Goes Hitless on Important Off Day

Alex Rodriguez was hitless on the Yankees off day yesterday and has not had a hit since the 6th inning of Game 5 of the ALCS. Girardi even showed his displeasure by replacing him in the crucial 9th inning of Game 5 for pinch runner Freddy Guzman, a guy who has one career home run and a career batting average of .211. Yankee fans have made their angry voices heard on sports talk radio and message boards all over the internet. However, Arod said he deserves the criticism.

"These fans don't expect any more out of me than I do out of myself", he said. "They get so accustomed to seeing me hit home runs when we're up by ten runs, and when I don't do what I normally do in an important game, they have the right to get angry. For me not to get any hits on one of the most important off days of the season, it's disappointing."

While Arod had an awful off-day, Yankees hero Derek Jeter had a fantastic day. His intangibles at practice were undeniable. While taking swings off the tee in the batting cages, he didn't miss once. He answered every question from the media perfectly. Even if Arod hits three home runs in Game 6 to win the pennant, Jeter deserves all the credit for his great leadership, especially on the day off yesterday.

Boise State to Play 3 Games a Week to Improve Resume

Boise State is doing whatever it takes to improve their resume. The Boise State Bronco football team is eager to show the nation, and more importantly poll voters that they deserve to be in the top 2 of the BCS standings. Boise State is undefeated this year, but based on their lack of quality wins, they are not high enough in the BCS standings to play in the BCS title game. Instead, teams with one loss from power conferences such as the SEC are above Boise State in the standings.

In an order to improve their resume, Boise State has scheduled games against high school teams from the state of Idaho every Tuesday and Thursday for the remainder of the season, in addition to the regularly scheduled Saturday games against lousy college football teams. Boise State wants to show voters that their 24-0 regular season record is more impressive than an 11-1 record from a team like USC, for example.

"If we win double the amount of games that these other teams win, there’s no way we can be denied” said Boise Head Coach Chris Petersen. "I really enjoy beating these cup-cakes 49-3 so by playing three games a week, I can enjoy these blowouts three times more often."

Instead of averaging Boise State's strength of schedule, Boise State is hoping they add their opponents total wins. Rather than facing a bunch of teams who only have two wins this season, Boise State is encouraging voters to view the three teams they are playing next week as a six-win team. Boise State has to be careful though; one slipup and their 23-1 record doesn't seem so impressive.

None of the voters really know who Boise State is so all calls to them were unanswered.

Marching Band Calls Timeout in Middle of Halftime Performance

With only there minutes left in the halftime show, Director Jon Sparks didn't like what he was seeing at last weekend's football game so he called a timeout in between sets to call the marching band in for a huddle. Sparks decided it was necessary to call his last halftime timeout of the season.

"I wanted to reiterate to the band members what we had been practicing in rehearsal all week" said Sparks. "We were getting to an important part of the show and I wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. It was too important of a set not to be together."

The band responded to the timeout well. They broke the huddle and performed a maneuver many had never seen before. The play had been practiced for weeks, but had not been used until then. The trumpet section faked to the left and marched in step up the right side line to the fifty yard line. The melody was then lateraled to the tuba section who lateraled it back to the trumpets. All of the instruments slid with their shoulders parallel to the sideline. Nobody saw it coming. It was a chance for the band to show off their athletic skills. Scouts from many colleges had stop watches and video cameras to determine who had the potential to march at the next level.

"That was one incredible play after that timeout" said a young girl who just wanted to be known as Clarinet #23. "The crowd went crazy as I marched past the 40 yard line and had a clear path to three steps behind the hash on the 45. I knew we were going to make the set once I got that point."

"I've worked all my life for this moment" added Flute #12. "It's a dream come true for that set to have perfect lines. I would like to thank God for making this happen, I knew he could do it."

For the band, it's not time to get overconfident. The band has a tough upcoming show this weekend and Sparks is all out of timeouts for the remainder of the season. However for one week, it's ok to celebrate. Sparks called timeout at the perfect time and ended any debate of having a coaching change.

Detroit Lions Honor 2008 Preseason Team

The Detroit Lions will be honoring one its best teams on November 1st, the 2008 Preseason roster. The team went 4-0 in the preseason, outscoring their opponents 80-32.

"This is a special way for us to honor a group of guys who left a huge mark on this franchise, the city of Detroit and this league,” said Lions Owner Henry Ford. “Having the best record in the preseason is something that nobody really strives to do, but since we had the best record, we might as well honor them because Detroit has had nothing else to be proud of lately."

Many former players including Dan Orlovsky will be coming back for the game. "It will bring back so many memories. I can't believe it's been 14 months" said Orlovsky. "This will be my first time back. I don't get to see the guys as much as I'd like to." Orlovsky was one of the stars for the 2008 Detroit Lions preseason team. In four games, he went 44-64 for 499 yards. He threw 2 touchdowns and only had one interception, although he would have had more if he wasn't throwing against third-string defenses in meaningless preseason games.

Juan Pierre Steals First Base to Avoid an Intentional Walk to Manny Ramirez

Juan Pierre stole a base last night, but it wasn’t the one most people steal. In the top of the 8th inning with two outs and Juan Pierre on second, the Phillies threw two intentional balls to Manny Ramirez. The Dodgers didn’t want to lose their best hitter to an intentional walk, so Juan Pierre smartly stole first base. With a runner on first, the Phillies instead decided to pitch to Manny. Manny made them pay by hitting a gapper off the left-centerfield wall as Juan Pierre scored all the way from first.

“This is why Juan Pierre is one of the smartest players in the game” said Dodgers manager Joe Torre. Pierre easily stole the base without a throw. Pierre's ability to steal both first and third base from second makes him a dual threat and very tough to defend against.

However, Pierre's heroics couldn't win the game by himself. The Dodgers wanted to see the new episode of David Letterman so instead of having to play all three outs in the ninth, the Dodgers let Jimmy Rollins hit a walk-off double to end the game. Unfortunately for the Dodgers, they forgot they were in the eastern time zone so they were a few minutes too late for Dave.

Tennessee Titans a Super Bowl Contender---It’s a Hoax!

It'a a Hoax! First it was Balloon Boy, now it’s the Tennessee Titans. It has been reported by the Associated Press that charges will be filed against the Tennessee Titans for being considered a Super Bowl contender before the season started. Suspicions of a hoax were amplified by the 0-5 start, only to be confirmed by yesterday’s embarrassing 59-0 loss to the New England Patriots.

As time went on, more strange behavior seemed to further indicate to NFL fans that the Tennessee Titans claim to be a Super Bowl contender was in fact a hoax. Kerry Collins began throwing interceptions. Their defense thought the football had cooties. On offense, their runningbacks thought they were playing hot potato. They began losing to teams like the Texans, Jets, and Jaguars.

Beat Reporters for the Tennessee Titans have conducted interviews with players and coaches to try to get to the bottom of the whole affair. As it stands now, the Titans will be charged with the hoax. Possible punishment for the hoax will include getting a top draft pick in 2010 (possibly the #1 overall pick) and lower expectations next year.

“This was a marketing stunt” said ESPN Analyst Keyshawn Johnson. “They wanted the public to believe that they were contenders this season so they could get more airtime on SportsCenter, better odds in Vegas, and get the primetime Sunday night and Monday night games, normally held for the top teams.

“Absolutely no hoax” said Tennessee Titans Head Coach Jeff Fischer. “Now if you can please put some plays that may have worked for you in “Madden” into this little box, I need to think of a game plan for our next game vs. Jacksonville.”

A press conference will be held sometime tomorrow during which officials will release more information.

Fantasy Football Advice From a Normal Guy, Week 6

Start:

Adrian Peterson, Drew Brees, Maurice Jones-Drew, Andre Johnson, Antonio Gates and whatever defense is facing the Saint Louis Rams---They will get you lots of points. Start ‘em!

Sit:

Peyton Manning---The Colts have their unavoidable bye week so Peyton won’t get many points. However, if your backup quarterback is DeMarcus Russell, we recommend starting Manning because he won’t be getting negative points.

Brett Favre---Brett has retired, time to drop him from your team…oh wait.

Plaxico Burress--- Burress did not travel with the team to New Orleans so he’ll likely not play today for the Giants. Due to the negative press it would bring, the Giants were secretive on the exact reason he won’t be playing.

Pray:

Derek Anderson---If your starting quarterback is Derek Anderson, it is time to pray. It worked last week, he completed two passes. If more people pray this week, his completions might increase to three or four.

Terrell Owens---According to his news conference, Owens only goes with the plays that are called for him. Therefore, pray for long passes to #81.

Tim Couch---If Tim Couch if your starting quarterback, pray that your draft guide next season is up to date and doesn’t list Ryan Leaf as one of their sleeper picks.

Jacksonville Trades Draft Pick for 1,500 Fans Per Game

The Philadelphia Eagles have announced that they have traded 1,500 fans per game to the Jacksonville Jaguars in exchange for a 2nd round pick in the 2010 draft and a player to be named later. Jacksonville has struggled to get sell tickets in this economy and are currently in the bottom half of league attendance.

"This is an excellent trade for the Eagles and we are all appreciative to the Jaguars for their cooperation during negotiations" said Eagles General Manager Tom Heckert. Meanwhile Ticket Executives for the Eagles were outside Lincoln Financial protesting, saying that they lost a lot of commission due to the lost tickets traded away to Jacksonville.

From the Jaguars point of view, this was a no-brainer. The team is not going to win anytime soon, so giving up players for new fans and ticket sales was a great business move. Don't be surprised if the Jaguars make more trades in the near future; they still have lots of players and draft picks to give away, and plenty of seats to fill up at Jacksonville Municipal Stadium.

Jose Molina Looks to Get Out of Early Season 165 Game Slump

Jose Molina is only batting .219 this season with 1 home run but
claims he’s just in a little early season funk and there’s plenty of baseball
left to be played this season. Jose only has 30 hits in his last 138
at-bats dating back to April 6th when the slump began.

“This is just an early season 165 game slump” said Jose from the luxurious Yankees team plane. “I still have an entire ALCS and World Series to bust out of this slump and improve my stats. This is a very long season and fans need to be patient.”

Instead of Molina, Yankees Manager Joe Girardi will be starting Jorge Posada at catcher tonight in Game 1. Molina will continue working with hitting coach Alex Rodriguez before the game to get his swing back in form.

Fantasy players are encouraged to be patient and hold onto Molina for a bit longer. If you are looking for catcher help, this is an excellent opportunity to trade for Molina, as his value will never be lower.

Balloon Boy Punished, Forced to Become a Mets Season Ticket Holder

Falcon "Balloon Boy" Heene has been given the ultimate punishment for hiding in the attic by the Colorado police department and the National Guard: 2010 New York Mets Season Tickets. The punishment comes as thousands of dollars worth of tax money was spent following the mushroom shaped object fly wildly through the Colorado sky like a Kyle Orton pass that wobbled uncontrollably eight rows into the stands.

"I don't want to see the Mets lose all 81 home games next season" said a crying Falcon as he spoke to strangers, something he's not supposed to do. "However, I can't be too upset. I am now the most famous person to hide in an attic since Anne Frank and the coolest Falcon since Michael Vick."

Balloon Boy will take a high-speed helium balloon created by his father from Fort Collins to Citi Field for each game. Falcon will be forced to endure 81 awful home games and will not be allowed to leave games early to beat the air traffic from nearby Laguardia and JFK Airports. During rain delays, Falcon will be forced to sit in a balloon to stay dry from the rain.

Falcon's fame has allowed him to automatically qualify for the Hide & Seek World Championships. He has been named Colorado's Bachelor of the Year in the 6 year old division. Mets jerseys with "Balloon Boy" on the back is now the #1 selling jersey on Mets.com, passing "We Suck" and "Buckner"

Rush Limbaugh Buys Fantasy Team, Drafts All St. Louis Ram Players

Just moments after Rush Limbaugh was dropped from a group bidding to buy the Saint Louis Rams, Limbaugh logged onto ESPN.com and bought a fantasy team in the league "Donovan McNabb is overrated." As long as the credit card is valid, ESPN Fantasy sports does not discriminate against former employees who may have radical political views and have said racist comments in the past.

Economists are praising Limbaugh's investment for buying a team for only $29.95, compared to the millions he would have spent to buy an equally terrible team, the Saint Louis Rams. Limbaugh's team, named "This is my Fantasy", is filled with Rams players and is ironically expected to win the same amount of games this season as the real Rams, zero.

Limbaugh selected Steven Jackson in the first round. He followed that pick with what he thought was a steal in the second round, Marshall Faulk. Limbaugh then selected Mark Bulger in the third round and followed that up in the fourth round with the Rams backup quarterback, Kyle Boller. Limbaugh plans to start whichever quarterback has the better weekly match-up. In the fifth round, Limbaugh got confused and selected Rams Head Coach Steve Spagnuolo. With a surprise pick in the sixth round, Limbaugh selected the Rams defense. In the seventh round, he selected former Ram Wide Receiver Az-Zahir Hakim because he liked his name and in the eighth round, Limbaugh got confused once again and selected Colorado State Rams Quarterback Grant Stucker. The rest of Limbaugh's selections were of Rams players that nobody has ever heard of.

Good Luck Rush, from your friends at Zaiger's Sports of Sorts!

Barack Obama: "Chicago Deserves the World Series"

Combining hometown pride and political muscle, President Barack Obama flew to New York yesterday to lobby Bed Selig and MLB officials to give the North Side of Chicago the 2009 World Series. Obama flew to Chicago with dignified Chicagoians Oprah Winfrey, Lou Pinella, Steve Bartman and a Billy Goat.

“It has been a very long time since the north side of Chicago hosted a World Series game” said President Obama. “Rundown cities like Detroit and Cleveland have hosted this prestigious event in recent years, both of whom have inferior economies and infrastructure compared to the north side of Chicago. “

The north side of Chicago has an impressive state-of-the-art transportation system, as well as sufficient hotel space for the numerous media and tourists who will inevitably embark on the north side for an event like the World Series. One aspect that hurts Chicago’s bid for the World Series is Wrigley Field, a facility that was built many years ago. Other contenders for the World Series such as the Bronx and Philadelphia have stadiums that were built in the past five years. They also have teams that have a chance of playing in the Fall Classic.

Bud Selig is expected to announce the cities that will host World Series games shortly after the conclusion of the ALCS and the NLCS. Until then, Obama will just have to wait and see.

Cleveland Browns Celebrate Landmark Victory

Confetti rained down from Cleveland’s hideous looking buildings as the Cleveland Browns celebrated their first victory of the season yesterday in a parade through polluted downtown Cleveland. An estimated 2.4 million unemployed fans packed the four-mile parade route. Fans showed their appreciation by screaming, yelling and holding up signs that said “We’re better than the 2008 Detroit Lions!”

“I can’t believe how many fans came out to celebrate the victory” said Browns Head Coach Eric Mangini. “Too bad we probably won’t win another game for another few years. I probably will be long gone before our next parade but for one day, it was fun to be a Cleveland Brown.”

Cleveland ended their winless season on Sunday, as they defeated an equally pathetic Buffalo Bills team 6-3. The game ball was given to Jamal Lewis who appropriately dropped the ball as it was handed to him in the locker room. The Browns face a tough schedule in the next few weeks: Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Chicago, and Baltimore. However, don’t tell the Browns that. They’ve won a game so they deserve to take a few weeks off before they try to get the #1 pick in the 2010 Draft.

Fan Runs On the Field, Runs a 4.36 40 Yard Dash

When Felix Toledo ran onto the field during game 3 of the Twins-Yankees series, he was fulfilling a life-long dream that he’s always want to do. Little did Toledo know that his life was about to change forever.

Toledo was clocked from Section 104 in left field to Section 136 in Right Field in a blistering 7.05 seconds as he ran away from the overweight Minnesota police department. Minnesota Viking scouts at the game said that his time was equivalent to a 4.36 40-Yard dash. Now scouts from every NFL team are making their way to a Minnesota State prison to see if this bolt of speed was due to the adrenalin of running away from the police and the large amount of alcohol in his system at the time, or if Toledo is just a great talent that was flying under the radar because he was too lazy to join his high school football team.

Toledo is expected to be released from prison in 30-45 days, meaning that he will be a great addition for any team looking to make a push into the postseason. When asked which football players he idolizes, Toledo was quick to name players who have had incidents with law enforcement: Michael Vick, Plaxico Burress, and Donte' Stallworth. For those who need wide receiver help in fantasy leagues, Toledo is expected to be a hot waiver wire pick this week.

Pittsburgh Named a Better Sports City than Idaho Falls, Idaho

Sporting News Magazine has released its annual list of top sports cities in the country with Pittsburgh taking the top spot. However, sports cities around the country have protested the announcement, saying that a playoff system is really the only way to truly name a champion. The full-list of sports cities who are not as good as Pittsburgh can be viewed in the latest edition of Sporting News Magazine or at this link.

“I can only name about 75 cities who even have a sports team” said Geneva Taylor, a geography teacher from Everett, Washington who doesn’t really care about sports but wanted to be interviewed so she can say she’s famous. “For us to be behind normal cities like Normal, Illinois, this is not accurate . There needs to be a playoff system so we really know who has the best sports city in the country.”

Supporters of a playoff system claim that a champion cannot be determined from computer rankings, and a playoff system would not only be exciting but would generate revenue for everyone involved. A 399-team bracket would make 64-team NCAA Basketball pools look miniature. Advocates of a playoff system state that the 399 cities listed give us a tease of what could have been with a massive bracket. A playoff system for 2009 would have pinned #399 Auburn, New York against #1 Pittsburgh in the first round, for example. “Anything can happen in one game” said James Taylor, the only person in Auburn who actually knows what sports is. Depending on how brackets played out, intriguing playoff matchups would have also included:

Troy (#104) vs. Troy (#398.)

Little Rock (#150) vs. Morehead (#173)

Cheney (#206) vs. Clinton (#212)

Detroit/Ann Abor/Ypsilanti (#10) vs. Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill (#17) vs. San Jose/Palo Alto/Santa Clara (#24)

Saint Louis (#30) vs. Louisville (#67)

Hershey (#317) vs. Kissimee (#304)

Salt Lake City (#19) vs. Stockton (#149)

Washington (#14) vs. Lincoln (#72)

State College (#48) vs. College Park (#64)

Greenville (#100) vs. Greeneville (#390)