In an epic match that came down to the final volley, a random boy with no friends beat another random boy with even less friends on the word "Novak Djokovic."
The winner, Peter Langton, said after the match that spelling Serbian tennis players names isn't even his favorite thing to do. "I really like spelling the names of those Dominican baseball players that nobody has ever heard of."
Socially awkward Langton qualified for the National Spelling Bee after winning his state title on the word "Doug Mientkiewicz"
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
ARod: Carlos Beltran Has Hottest Wife in Baseball
According to New York Yankee third baseman A-Hole Rodriguez, the best looking wife in baseball doesn’t play in the Bronx, Boston, Philadelphia, Toronto or St. Louis.
She’s married to a player in Queens
“They have the world’s best looking wife married to that overpaid often-injured outfielder” Rodriguez said, referring to the wife of Carlos Beltran.
“I’m a huge fan of all baseball wives and anytime you see a woman like that, it’s very exciting” Rodriguez said Friday afternoon before the Yankees took on the Mets at Citi Field. “If I wasn’t banging random girls in the Bronx, I’d definitely be in Queens hitting that.”
She’s married to a player in Queens
“They have the world’s best looking wife married to that overpaid often-injured outfielder” Rodriguez said, referring to the wife of Carlos Beltran.
“I’m a huge fan of all baseball wives and anytime you see a woman like that, it’s very exciting” Rodriguez said Friday afternoon before the Yankees took on the Mets at Citi Field. “If I wasn’t banging random girls in the Bronx, I’d definitely be in Queens hitting that.”
Friday, July 1, 2011
NHL and MLB Left Out of the LockOut Club
Now that the NBA and NFL are in a lockout, the peer pressure is building for the NFL and MLB to lock out their players as well.
"It looks like so much fun" said MLB Commissioner, Bud Selig.
The NHL is asking the NFL for the secret password to join the Lockout Club. However, the NFL is refusing to budge, after recently allowing the NBA to join the exclusive club as well.
"It looks like so much fun" said MLB Commissioner, Bud Selig.
The NHL is asking the NFL for the secret password to join the Lockout Club. However, the NFL is refusing to budge, after recently allowing the NBA to join the exclusive club as well.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Charlie Sheen Admits Taking Steroid Use for "Major League", Teams Now Interested
No longer on the set of Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen might have a new job!
Just a day after admitting that he took steroid use while filming "Major League" back in the 1990s, teams are rushing to sign Charlie Sheen now that they know he has a competitive advantage over the few players in the big leagues who have never taken 'roids. Baseball is a game about inches and when you have the muscles that steroids can build, those inches can turn pop flies into home runs.
Teams that are lacking offense are the ones bidding the highest for Sheen's services. Even though Sheen played a pitcher in his movie days, he has proven that he has the ability to score a lot with the ladies so teams are hoping that translates into scoring a lot of runs for them.
The exact amount of money needed to sign Sheen is uncertain at this time, although the more steroids that Sheen admits taking, the higher the dollar figure will rise. When asked about offers that Sheen has already received, Sheen's agent said the money is on the low side and a jussssst a bit outside.
Just a day after admitting that he took steroid use while filming "Major League" back in the 1990s, teams are rushing to sign Charlie Sheen now that they know he has a competitive advantage over the few players in the big leagues who have never taken 'roids. Baseball is a game about inches and when you have the muscles that steroids can build, those inches can turn pop flies into home runs.
Teams that are lacking offense are the ones bidding the highest for Sheen's services. Even though Sheen played a pitcher in his movie days, he has proven that he has the ability to score a lot with the ladies so teams are hoping that translates into scoring a lot of runs for them.
The exact amount of money needed to sign Sheen is uncertain at this time, although the more steroids that Sheen admits taking, the higher the dollar figure will rise. When asked about offers that Sheen has already received, Sheen's agent said the money is on the low side and a jussssst a bit outside.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
NFL locked out for 108th Day; Players Trying to Find Keys
NFL Officials have officially locked out the players for the 108th straight days, refusing to give players like Tom Brady and Logan Mankins keys to the office. The players are ready to get back on the football field and are looking for a locksmith to let them in. Negotiations will continue today but there is no end in sight.
"I have been optimistic this whole time and am hopeful that we can work it out with the owners" said Lions Quarterback Matthew Stafford. "I can't wait until we can go out there, lose some more games, and for me to get injured on the 3rd snap of the season."
There is a uniform opinion (pun intended) from players that they will indeed find a locksmith who will let them inside and for there to be a season. That's what the fans want and so do the players, well at least most of them.
Players from the Green Bay Packers are hiding the keys and hoping the 2012 doesn't occur. The longer the players are locked out, the longer the Green Bay Packers can selfishly say they're champions.
"I have been optimistic this whole time and am hopeful that we can work it out with the owners" said Lions Quarterback Matthew Stafford. "I can't wait until we can go out there, lose some more games, and for me to get injured on the 3rd snap of the season."
There is a uniform opinion (pun intended) from players that they will indeed find a locksmith who will let them inside and for there to be a season. That's what the fans want and so do the players, well at least most of them.
Players from the Green Bay Packers are hiding the keys and hoping the 2012 doesn't occur. The longer the players are locked out, the longer the Green Bay Packers can selfishly say they're champions.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Survey: Womens Soccer overcomes Mens Soccer as the Most Boring Sport Ever
Despite being popular in countries where people have weird non-American names like Bismack Biyombo and Manu Ginobli, soccer continues to lag behind terrible sports like Squash, dessert volleyball, and ice swimming.
In a recent poll by Sports Illustrated, womens soccer was voted by soccer-hating Americans as the most boring sport in the world. Coming off a World Cup tournament two years in South Africa, mens soccer has zoomed and kicked its way all the way to second to last, one spot higher than the last time these soccer-hating men and women were polled.
With the womens World Cup currently taking place in Germany, womens soccer is hoping it can overcome mens soccer as the second most hated sport in the world. In the meantime, the women are hoping to first score a goal since that doesn't happen to often in their sport.
In a recent poll by Sports Illustrated, womens soccer was voted by soccer-hating Americans as the most boring sport in the world. Coming off a World Cup tournament two years in South Africa, mens soccer has zoomed and kicked its way all the way to second to last, one spot higher than the last time these soccer-hating men and women were polled.
With the womens World Cup currently taking place in Germany, womens soccer is hoping it can overcome mens soccer as the second most hated sport in the world. In the meantime, the women are hoping to first score a goal since that doesn't happen to often in their sport.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Chad Ochocinco Changes Name to Ron Artest
Just days after Ron Artest changed his name to Metta World Peace, Chad Ochocinco has decided to change his name to Ron Artest.
“To have the honor of carrying on the great reputation of an athlete that carries the name of Ron Arest is a privilege” said Chad. “It is an honor and something I don’t like lightly." Metta World Peace had no comment on the person who has taken over his previous name.
In unrelated news, LeBron James is rumored to be considering changing his name to Michael Jordan since the name “LeBron James” is one of the most hated in the game today.
“To have the honor of carrying on the great reputation of an athlete that carries the name of Ron Arest is a privilege” said Chad. “It is an honor and something I don’t like lightly." Metta World Peace had no comment on the person who has taken over his previous name.
In unrelated news, LeBron James is rumored to be considering changing his name to Michael Jordan since the name “LeBron James” is one of the most hated in the game today.
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