Charlie Sheen Admits Taking Steroid Use for "Major League", Teams Now Interested

No longer on the set of Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen might have a new job!

Just a day after admitting that he took steroid use while filming "Major League" back in the 1990s, teams are rushing to sign Charlie Sheen now that they know he has a competitive advantage over the few players in the big leagues who have never taken 'roids. Baseball is a game about inches and when you have the muscles that steroids can build, those inches can turn pop flies into home runs.

Teams that are lacking offense are the ones bidding the highest for Sheen's services. Even though Sheen played a pitcher in his movie days, he has proven that he has the ability to score a lot with the ladies so teams are hoping that translates into scoring a lot of runs for them.

The exact amount of money needed to sign Sheen is uncertain at this time, although the more steroids that Sheen admits taking, the higher the dollar figure will rise. When asked about offers that Sheen has already received, Sheen's agent said the money is on the low side and a jussssst a bit outside.

Mark McGwire Finally Admits He Sucked At Everything Besides Hitting Home Runs

If't been 1552 days since Mark McGwire wanted to talk about the future but I guess he's had enough of all that 2012 end of the world talk, so he decided to admit something about his past. It's been eight years since he retired from baseball because nobody wanted him, and he's finally decided to be honest with himself: "I sucked at everything except hitting Home Runs."

"I wish I had never hit a home run. It was foolish and it was a mistake" McGwire wrote on his Twitter account. "I wish I focused on my speed so I could have been like Ricky Henderson. The Ricky Hendersons of the world are making the Hall of Fame these days. People who have hit home runs like myself, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds are not."

McGwire truly did suck at everything except hitting runs. He didn't hit a triple between 1989-1998. Not once in 1994 did he sacrifice his body by allowing the ball to hit him so he could advance to first, ironic because he was sacrificing his body by taking steroids. He had no stolen bases in 2001, the final straw in getting McGwire to retire following that season. For once, a star like McGwire has told the truth and nothing but the truth: he really sucked besides hitting home runs.