Olympic Curlers Complain About People Watching Them

Olympic Curlers are used to competing in empty ice rinks. However, the Olympics are a completely different story. Many Curlers have asked Olympic officials to limit the amount of people in the arena to less than ten because that's what they're used to.

"Competing in an arena with more than just my boyfriend and parents in the stands is something brand new for me" said an Olympic Curler competing in her first Olympics. "In between shots, the sounds of people talking to each other really throws off my game...literally."

Curlers are looking forward to non-Olympic events where nobody cares about curling. Even the small two sentence summaries at the bottom of the sports section in newspapers is way too much for them to handle. If they wanted to participate in a winter sport that people somewhat cared about, they would dediced to become bobsledders or ski jumpers when they were younger.

Apolo Anton Ohno's Medals Negated Due to Short Track

Apolo Anton Ohno won his 7th Short Track medal last night, equivalent to 4 medals in the normal long-track speed skating. With the short track being only 4/7th of a long track, Ohno is excited to have won his 4th medal.

"Having won 4 medals sounds so much better than 3 and 3/7th medals" said Ohno while eating a short meatball sub. "I am so excited."

Ohno is hoping to build up endurance for the 2014 Olympics so he can race in the long track speed skating. Until then, Ohno will have to race in tracks made for kids.

Texas Not Living Up to Expectations in Olympics

The Country of Texas has yet to medal in the Winter Olympics so far. Texans boasted about their great athletes, particularly in football, but have yet to show it in Vancouver.

"Every thing is bigger in Texas" said a random person from the country of the United States. "Being big doesn't make you a good figure skater, luger, or whatever the heck that sport is called where you jump as far as possible on skis."

The country of Texas is currently tied with small countries like Azerbaijan, Kyrgyzstak, and Uzbekistan in the medal count. Texas is waiting for that one moment, where one of their citizens can win gold and their National Anthem will played with their flag raised.

Michael Phelps a Favorite to Win Gold in Ice Pond Swimming

Michael Phelps is looking to make history by becoming the first athlete ever to win eight gold medals in both the Summer and Winter Olympics. He won 8 golds in the 2008 Summer Olympics and is hoping to win eight more in the Winter Olympics here in Vancouver.

"I am really looking forward to swimming against polar bears from the North Pole" said Phelps while shivering after a morning swim. "The cold ice water should motivate me to swim faster because the sooner I finish the race, the quicker I can get out of the water."

Phelps starts his Olympic journey tomorrow in the 100m Iceberg Race, a race of 100m in water filled with icebergs. His ultimate challenge will be in the Intimidator Race where racers will have to tread water in the freezing conditions for ten minutes before starting the race.