Balloon Boy Punished, Forced to Become a Mets Season Ticket Holder

Falcon "Balloon Boy" Heene has been given the ultimate punishment for hiding in the attic by the Colorado police department and the National Guard: 2010 New York Mets Season Tickets. The punishment comes as thousands of dollars worth of tax money was spent following the mushroom shaped object fly wildly through the Colorado sky like a Kyle Orton pass that wobbled uncontrollably eight rows into the stands.

"I don't want to see the Mets lose all 81 home games next season" said a crying Falcon as he spoke to strangers, something he's not supposed to do. "However, I can't be too upset. I am now the most famous person to hide in an attic since Anne Frank and the coolest Falcon since Michael Vick."

Balloon Boy will take a high-speed helium balloon created by his father from Fort Collins to Citi Field for each game. Falcon will be forced to endure 81 awful home games and will not be allowed to leave games early to beat the air traffic from nearby Laguardia and JFK Airports. During rain delays, Falcon will be forced to sit in a balloon to stay dry from the rain.

Falcon's fame has allowed him to automatically qualify for the Hide & Seek World Championships. He has been named Colorado's Bachelor of the Year in the 6 year old division. Mets jerseys with "Balloon Boy" on the back is now the #1 selling jersey on Mets.com, passing "We Suck" and "Buckner"