Despite ruining America's chances of winning Olympic gold and causing most of Canada to jump off a cliff, the Pittsburgh Penguins have decided to welcome Sidney Crosby back to the United States because he's a damn good hockey player.
"It was a tough decision but after many hours debating the topic and watching highlight videos on Youtube, we have decided that the jackass can help us win games" said Penguins General Manager Ray Shero.
Americans are outraged that a player that plays for an American Hockey team can betray his hometown team by defeating the Americans in the gold medal game. However, Americans luckily don't follow hockey outside of the Olympics so they probably won't hear the name "Sidney Crosby" until 2014. Until then, Sportscenter will continue to ignore the NHL.
Monday, March 1, 2010
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