Report: Busted Brackets to Cause Depression

The suicide rate among active March Madness pool participates is on pace to surpass the last three March Madnesses combined. The early upsets of Georgetown, Villanova, New Mexico and Kansas has busted many brackets before the Sweet 16 has even began. Officials claim that if the upset trend continues, the depression rate will increase as more and more brackets get tossed.

"Spending hours filling out your brackets, only for a random team like St. Marys and Northern Iowa to ruin it will cause anxiety, stress, and depression" said March Madness Psychologist, Richard Vittal.

However, the depression has not affected the female population at the same alarming rate as men because quite frankly, they don't know what they're doing when they're filling out their bracket. For that reason, many of them picked Ohio to defeat Georgetown and Washington to beat New Mexico because they had better mascots.